Solo
*Disclaimer: Dearest and treasured Tokyo friends, I love you and this post does not mean I don’t want to hang out with you as I absolutely do. So please don’t abandon me as life would be rubbish without you The same applies to you Wil!*
Several aspects of my life have changed quite drastically since our move to Tokyo. The one I’m focussing on in this blog is that I now spend a far greater amount of time by myself than I did in London.
In London, I’d see Wil briefly in the morning and then my day would be spent interacting with colleagues all day, not just for work but the causal chit chat over our desks, a quick break or having lunch with a friend at work - the social aspects of work that kept us all sane in the thick of it. My evenings would then be spent with Wil or sometimes seeing friends.
Other than commuting or showering I’m struggling to think of many moments in the day when I’d be alone in London. Whereas the default for Tokyo was that I’d be spending time alone. So when we got to Tokyo, I spent a lot of time making a deliberate effort not to end up lonely and I have luckily made a fantastic group of friends here that I spend a lot of time with. It is because of these wonderful people that Tokyo feels like home and I’m loving my time here. Wil is always surprised when I gave him a run down of the numerous social engagements I’d have for the upcoming week and I’m always thrilled at the prospect.
But over the past month or so I’ve realised that perhaps the balance has tipped the other way somewhat: I’m now valuing and appreciating time by myself and for myself.
One reason for this is that it’s dawning on me that this is our final year in Tokyo and if there’s things I want to see and do I need to just do so!
But the main is reason is that although I love hanging out with other people, I now really appreciate the value of having time to myself, to enjoy doings things by myself and enjoy my own company. It might sound strange but I didn’t really think to or have the opportunity to go it solo in London. But now I do, and it turns out I enjoy it.
So here are some of the things I enjoy, and sometimes prefer doing alone, and the reasons why:
Exhibitions: if it’s an exhibition that I’ve been really looking forward to and really care about then I’d much rather go by myself to spend as long as I want there to geek out and take it all in without worrying that I was forcing someone else to enjoy what I enjoy or feeling rushed to do the exhibition quickly myself.
Hobbies: I’ve loved the afternoons I’ve had at home trying out new crafts etc. But I’ve tried them and now I want to get better and I need to put in some time by myself to practice and progress! In fact the lack of progress I was making with new hobbies was one of the things that made me realise that I was not prioritising time for myself.
Dining: yes, it’s nice to share a meal with others but sometimes it’s nice to treat yourself or scout out places that I want to come back to with Wil or recommend to friends.
Exploration: often when hanging out with other people it’s easier to have a plan but some days I just like to go out and explore without much of a plan and just wander and see what I see! This is exactly how I’ve found some spots in the city that I love. But as I’m exploring on my own, I’ll absolutely be taking photos of what I see and texting friends about what I found.
Cafes: going to a cafe and having a catch up with a friend is one of my favourite things but going to a cafe alone to read or just sit and gaze out of the window or people watch is a different kind of joy.
So often we all have to plan our days around commitments that we cannot ignore and people that we cherish. So to finish, I’d encourage you to treat yourself to some solo time. It could be an hour, or it could be a day, but plan something that’s entirely to your taste, your schedule, your budget, your pace and entirely for yourself because YOU only live once.
Setting the scene for as I wrote this blog:
Location: On the train to Narita Airport.
Weather: 12°C, and it feels like spring is on the way.
Soundtrack: The rumble of the train.
Bonus fact: After taking it easy this week (just one museum trip and coffee with friends, two days at home for some life admin, and two days out by myself ) I’m now ready and wanting to spend time with other people. And that’s a good job too because my mum is visiting from the UK and lands in Japan in an hour!
